Q&A with Julie Elion

Julie Elion, one of professional golf’s most revered mental coaches, doesn’t disclose her client list. She prefers to let players take the lead in discussing their partnership, and plenty of players — Wyndham Clark, Justin Thomas, Phil Mickelson — have been happy to share how important she’s been at various stages of their careers. Elion is out with a new book this month, “Mastering Your Mental Game,” that shares some of her methods and techniques for playing your best golf. It comes out June 2. In anticipation, she agreed to answer some questions from Fried Egg Golf’s Kevin Van Valkenburg, an admitted head case on the course. You can preorder a copy of Elion’s book here.

KVV: Why do you think the mental aspect of golf can affect performance more than, say, sports like basketball or football where an athlete is constantly in motion?

Elion: The mental aspect of team sports are their own kettle of fish. But it’s easier to cooperate with teammates and coaches in a shared objective while on the field. I should add that your opponents in those sports are doing their best to defeat you directly. In golf, the pressure is entirely on the individual who has to put the ball in play on their own. They can’t pass the ball, or double-team, or get their groove back making a steal or getting a rebound. When golf is going well it feels easy. But nothing is harder than losing a feel for the club face or, worse, losing your confidence on the tee, around the greens, in the bunkers. This is where my book comes in. It helps the reader anticipate where their struggles on the course are really coming from. I think golfers have so much more to enjoy on the course if they’re more in touch with themselves. It’s why I wrote the book.

KVV: Your nickname in the pro golf circuit is "Backhoe" because of how deep you dig into players' psyches and backgrounds. How often do players start to dig deep, then get scared at what they begin to uncover? How do you convince them at that point to keep going?

Elion: It’s my favorite part of the process and one of the hardest. It takes so much courage to look yourself in the mirror and admit what you think your shortcomings are. But that first step creates so many possibilities for new appreciations and perspectives. One of the first is that what you think is a shortcoming might not even be one. It’s scarier than it looks but it’s a liberating thing to do and it almost always yields improvements off the course, too.

KVV: You're very vulnerable about your own upbringing in the book, about your parents' mental health issues and how it shaped your childhood. How much of your story do you share with your clients as a way to earn their trust?

Elion: I do whatever I can to help my clients get through to themselves about whatever it is they’re struggling with. But it was scary to commit to being so open in the book. But I felt like I had to do the same thing I was asking the reader.  

KVV: You mention that the younger generation of players you work with is more comfortable talking about mental health, and doesn't attach the same stigma of shame that previous generations often did. Why do you think that is?

Elion: I think it’s become more and more obvious that working on your mental health makes you better. I think our models of strength and success now include people who have been forthcoming about their struggles and what they did to overcome them. That was a lot less common even in recent years. I can’t say enough about how Wyndham overcame his recent struggles to get back in the winner’s circle. It’s not something that happens overnight. I’m so proud of him for keeping up the work. It’s paid off and will continue to.

KVV: Mental coaching and therapy are such intimate things. How do you make some of those lessons translate into a book format where the reader is unknown to you?

Elion: Reading is intimate, too. It’s just you and the author going on a journey together. And no one else needs to know what impact it had on you if you don’t want to share it. I relished the way the book gave me permission to be direct with the people who I hope will find in it a key to better lives and games. A book can’t replace the relationship with a good therapist, and I’m a big advocate for therapy. But I want it to be an on-ramp to making a relationship with the person and the golfer you want to become. I want my readers to feel more like themselves when they put it down. And I hope to hear from them about their experiences with it.

KVV: What do you do when a client decides they don't want to continue the relationship? Do you ever circle back later on and see if they'd like to pick things up again, or do you feel like they need to initiate things to restart the relationship?

Elion: In some ways, a client’s decision to move on is a sign of health and well-being. They’re ready to do it on their own. My door is always open. I’m always rooting for my former clients. And they’re often the ones who refer new folks to me. It’s one of my favorite parts of being on Tour.

KVV: There are a couple chapters in the book (Anxiety, Shame/Self Belief, Anger) where I felt like I was staring into a mirror and seeing my own behavior. Is there hope for me at age 48 and as a 10 handicap that I can still play some of my best golf?‍

Elion: I love it! You’re precisely the reader I hoped to reach. The mirror is the method! And the answer to your question is in the last chapter, The Gift of Golf.