Weekly Update: Golfers as NBA Playoff Teams

Happy NBA Playoffs season to all who celebrate. For today’s update, we’re comparing current playoff teams to professional golfers. Finding a perfect fit is easier for some of these teams than others, so if you decide to come after me, give me a better comp instead of just yelling at me that I’m wrong. 

The Oklahoma City Thunder are Scottie Scheffler. They are the best team in the world. People kind of want them to fail mainly because they’re at the top. When they play their best basketball, they win handily. There isn’t a reasonable debate as to who the top dog is.

I’m making a one-time exception to my “Don’t Include Amateurs” rule because the best comparison for the San Antonio Spurs is amateur Jackson Koivun. The Spurs have a transcendent, generational athlete on their roster. Like Victor Wembanyama, Koivun, a three-time SEC champion, might be the best prospect the sport has seen in quite some time. They may not be quite ready to win immediately, but it also wouldn’t be shocking if they did. 

The New York Knicks are Jon Rahm. They’re definitely good. How good, though? Reasonable minds have differing viewpoints. Like Rahm, the Knicks benefit from beating up on weaker competition in the Eastern Conference. People are skeptical that they’ll win when it counts — and they have valid reasons for that skepticism — but a Finals win wouldn’t be completely shocking. 

The Detroit Pistons are Akshay Bhatia. They’re very good, but they probably need another year or two of development before they’re ready to beat the best in the world. That isn’t a knock on them. There is tremendous upside. Cade Cunningham is 24. Akshay Bhatia is 24. Their best play should come a couple of years from now. The Pistons could make some noise this year, but the best is still ahead. 

The Cleveland Cavaliers are Sam Burns. They rack up a lot of regular season wins, but their track record in major championships isn’t as strong as it should be. Burns has three top-10 finishes in 23 major championship starts. The Cleveland Cavaliers haven’t reached the Eastern Conference Finals since 2018. There’s still enough talent that you can’t completely dismiss them, just as Burns could win a major championship over the next few years. I don’t expect it to happen, but it is possible. 

The Minnesota Timberwolves are Si Woo Kim. Extremely fun. Full of personality. A lot of edge. Very easy to cheer for. And not a major threat to win the Finals.  

The Los Angeles Lakers are Justin Rose. Despite their age, the magic still lies within them. Rose can summon stretches that remind the world he’s still capable of beating the best players in the world. But every so often, he’s going to have “old-man games” and toss up a dud. Once you hit your 40s, playing a professional sport at a consistently high level gets pretty tough. Also, both LeBron James and Justin Rose have made some questionable late-career roster changes that may have hurt their championship chances. Russell Westbrook is McLaren, if you will. 

The Philadelphia 76ers are Jordan Spieth. Is there any hope? I guess. There is always hope. But anyone looking at either the Sixers or the current version of Spieth knows it isn’t happening, at least until further notice. Spieth is trusting the process, as he should, but I feel like I’ve been hearing about the process for a while now.